After several years of urging by the family Dad finally agreed to get rid of his car about 3 months ago. The hitch - He just finished paying off the car loan (yes someone gave a 73 year a loan to buy a car). So before he can get rid of the car he has to go to the DMV to get a new title.
Now here is Dad's usual schedule - Fall asleep on the couch at round 9pm, wake up at 11pm read the Times, go through the mail, read some more. Fall asleep on the couch again at around 1am. Wake up at around 3am get ready for bed, make a drink and go to bed around 5am. Wake up for the day around 9 or 10am. Take about 2 hour to get ready for the day.
I don't begrudge Dad this life. He worked hard until age 62. He commuted from NYC 45 miles to Deer Park LI every day. He has earned the right to sleep on whatever schedule he wants. But I know that he CAN alter this schedule. He does on the days that Mom has therapy. The problem is that he really almost has to be forced to do this.
So today was supposed to be the day that he went to the DMV. Did I mention that I am supposed to be getting his car and have put off maintenance on my car? So I called him at noon to check and make sure that he was going. OK he said. No problem. When I get to their house around 4pm He's not home. Great! But no, he didn't leave until 3:50. DMV closes at 4, wonderful. It turns out that He didn't even go, he just went shopping.
So how do you get a 79 year old man to move? How do you get him to make the connection in his heart to what he has admitted in his mind. That He is not going to use his car. That the $600/month he is spending for insurance and a garage space could be put to better use. Really how?
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I found your blog through Norm @ EdNotesonline. I write an education blog in DC. I can relate to what you are going through. My Mom had her car confiscated after the police refused to let her drive after going down the wrong way with no lights on. First she was diagnosed with a mild cognitive impairment and she has deteriorated quite rapidly this year into full blown alzheimer's. She keeps asking about her car and even though I have reminded her of what happened, she now thinks her car was stolen. She refuses to accept that she is unable to drive and will no longer have the same independence. It's killing me to have to explain this over and over again. I am glad I found your blog.
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