What people don't understand.

So I almost lost it today, well almost might not be the right word. As I've said before, I have been trying to get my father to renew the title to his car so that he can get rid of it (conflict of interest note - I do need a new car). I had asked my daughter to go with him to the DMV, and initially she said yes. Now she says that she can't, and doesn't want to sit around the DMV all day anyway.

I don't want my daughter to do things out of guilt, so I won't push her. What really gets me is that sometimes (today was one of those times) I feel that I am sitting here watching my parents die, and no one else seems to notice. My wife has been fantastic. My ex has also been great. Sometimes I wish that others were as sympathetic.

Instead people ask perfunctorily how my parents are doing. Rarely am I asked how I am doing. D says that I put up a strong front, so people assume I must be doing well. I don't know how to do things differently. I have my job - full time HS teacher; my parents; supporting my wife, who published her first novel this past fall and who has her own health issues; and other responsibilities. If I don't keep a "strong front" and keep on going things will fall apart. If I do keep going will I fall apart. D says that she expects this to happen. I not sure that she is wrong.

So I go along trying to manage everything. Usually this works. Doctors get called, bills get paid, financial issues are dealt with (if sometimes a little late). When it falls apart I get frustrated, and angry. I look around and there is no support. I feel that I almost HAVE to be superman because I can't see how things are going to happen if I'm not.

It's not realistic - I know. I can't do everything, and there are people who help me. People who love my parents and will do almost anything for them. I venting tonight. But isn't that what a blog is for?